How childhood marriage taught my students about civics

A book to read: WRITTEN IN THE STARS by Aisha Saeed

Today, Aisha Saeed has written over 10 books. She’s a New York Times bestselling author and has tons of awards under her belt.

In 2015, I read her debut novel in one tear-filled gulp and knew this author was destined for big things. Her writing is exquisite.

WRITTEN IN THE STARS, her 2015 debut, is a YA contemporary novel about an American girl who loves her family…and this guy at school. But Naila’s parents, immigrants from Pakistan have outlawed dating. The plan had always been to arrange her marriage.

When Naila’s parents find out about the guy, they are (of course) furious. They arrange a trip to Pakistan, ostensibly to remind Naila of her familial and cultural roots. But in reality, the plan is to physically (and occasionally violently) force Naila into a marriage that is completely against her will. Horrible things follow.

This isn’t a book railing against arranged marriages or particular cultures though. In the Author’s Note, Aisha Saeed (a Pakistani-American) notes that her parents arranged her marriage, resulting in a blissful union and a happy family.

• Consensual arranged marriages = fine.

• Forced marriages (which, by the way, exist in MANY cultures including here in the USA) = not fine

A lesson to teach: Arranged Marriages, Washington State HB 1455, and Capitol Classroom

Having read this book nearly a decade ago, I hadn’t thought about it much lately until a few months ago when my American Government students began learning about forced marriages in the United States.

Yes, this is a strange thing for American Government students to learn about. Here’s how it happened:

This semester, my class took part in a hands-on civics education program called Capitol Classroom, which teaches Washington State students how to participate directly in the state legislative process by connecting them with professionals in Olympia.

Every week, my students had a Zoom meeting with a volunteer. Our volunteer was a lobbyist who works with clients (including many school districts) to advocate for bills. She taught my students a bit about how local government works and went over a few bills that were moving through committees. Then students voted on which bill they wanted to track and advocate for. She suggested a bill to outlaw octopus farming, a bill to require zero-emission school buses, and a bill to outlaw child marriages in the state.

Students overwhelmingly voted to track the bill about child marriages.

The Washington State legislature has a VERY transparent and easy-to-follow website, where the public can see exactly what is happening with any bill: its history, bill documents, and links to televised hearings. Here is the page for HB 1455: Eliminating Child Marriage.

Screen grab from leg.wa.gov

We Washington State teachers are very lucky to have this resource, but if you teach in a state with a crappy bill-tracking website, nothing is stopping you from using ours! Check out leg.wa.gov.

My students learned that HB 1455 was introduced by Representative Monica Stonier last year, but it didn’t get out of the House. Representative Stonier introduced it again this year.

Lesson learned: Sometimes being an incumbent lawmaker is useful! This made my students, many of whom are quick to call for term limits, think a bit. Our lobbyist later spoke with the kids about how it often takes lawmakers a few years to figure out how to be effective. Also, my students loved how 1st year lawmakers are also called freshman.

In January of this year (2024), HB 1455 buzzed through the House and headed to Senate Committees.

Lesson learned: Basic how-a-bill-becomes-a-law stuff. Like the School House Rock video, but in real life.

Then, my students and I watched some gut-wrenching committee hearings of public testimony¹. We heard from child marriage survivors. They took notes here. We learned lots of harrowing facts about forced marriages in Washington State:

• 4,831 minors 15 - 17 were married from 200-2018, and 80% of girls were married to adult men at least 4 years older (therefore bypassing statutory rape laws).

• A judge can approve any marriage, no matter how young the children involved are, without consulting the children about to be married off.

• Should their spouse become abusive, child brides (or child husbands) cannot access help because they are too young to seek a divorce, a restraining order, or even a bank account.

• Fathers have married their daughters off to get out of paying child support. (I KNOW!!!! W.T.F.?!?!?!)

Lessons learned: In addition to facts about child marriage, students learned about committee hearings. They saw citizens participating in hearings and saw how public input and expertise were taken seriously. The committee hearings even included some high school students (not survivors - just kids with an opinion) who gave their input on the bill. It was cool for my students to see lawmakers taking student voices seriously.

Next, we watched the committee vote on the bill (start 7:14). We watched a Committee Member offer an amendment to the bill (allowing 17-year-olds to get married with a judge’s approval) and saw some debate on the amendment. I stopped the video to allow students to discuss what they thought before showing the committee vote (it failed).

Lessons learned: Students learned about the amendment process. The Committee Members also brought up the fact that kids could just go to Idaho and marry, which provided me the opportunity to remind my students about state vs federal laws (yes, I’ve taught them about Federalism, but it’s a tough concept. Lots of reminders and examples are needed throughout the semester).

Next, we wrote letters. My plan was for students to write to members of the Rules Committee or their own State Representatives. Unfortunately, my students were on a week-long Mid-Winter break when the bill zoomed through the next committee, went to the Senate floor and was promptly passed. Darn you Washington State legislators! Why are you so effective?!? Lol.

Therefore, I had my students write letters to our governor, urging him to act on the bill or to a Senator, thanking them or admonishing them for their vote. Several of my students chose to write to Monica Stonier, thanking her. One of my students wrote a super heart-warming letter, calling Representative Stonier her “legislative bestie” because arranged marriages are part of her culture and she is glad Stonier is a “girl’s girl” who wants to keep her younger sisters and nieces safe. Another one of my students wrote to the sole “Nay” vote for the bill, asking him to explain himself and his vote. Senator Holy hasn’t written him back yet.

Lesson learned: How to find contact information for lawmakers and how to write a decent email. I told my students to forget their schooling because teachers always want them to write A LOT, but emails to lawmakers should be as concise as possible. Here is the template I gave my students.

Students also learned that government officials are not all hyper-partisan curmudgeons. This bill had overwhelming support across the aisle. Students heard Republicans and Democrats speaking respectfully to each other and even laughing together over their disagreements.

Students also learned that lawmakers are not all dysfunctional, corrupt, power-hungry people out to screw over the American public (this often being the message from social media and society). I loved that students got to see lawmakers as thoughtful individuals who are authentically trying to make a more perfect union.

Also, as of June 6th, 2024, child marriage will no longer be legal in Washington State. I’m going to re-read WRITTEN IN THE STARS to celebrate.

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1. Testimony related to HB 1455 starts at 45:50